Why we talk behind other people's backs?

 Why do we talk behind other people’s backs?

 

Most of us are really cowards. We may claim to have physical strength and a lot of power but mentally we are really weak. Don’t feel offended yet, I am still trying to come to the point. Let’s say for example , you discovered that I am a drunkard who wastes all his money on booze at the local bars and also squander a lot of cash paying a couple of ladies to have coitus with them. And now you are my so-called friend or acquaintance or a colleague, what would be your first reaction?

Trust me , for many people, the first thing to do is to laugh out loud and quickly run to their friend’s house and gossip about the whole day. Most folks will never like come to you and address your weakness. I guess in a population of 100 people, only 0.0001% will come to you and try to help you. The rest will only talk behind your back and make a joke of the week.

The easiest thing many people do when they figure out another person’s weakness is to tell other people about it rather than telling the person who has the problem. Astonishingly, this is a common thing, even grown up adults do it, teenagers do it everyday. But to be frank, talking behind other people’s backs fucks up most of our relationships. It is the root of all anxieties and mental health problems in most of our relationships. It is even the cause of most breakups.

I find it very simple, if someone has a problem, you tell him  and help him find a solution to it. It’s a piece of cake right.Obviously it is easier said than done. Yet many people feel like they will be taken to prison for simply telling you that something is not right. Hell! You wont be taken to gaol lady. Nothing will happen to you boss. Simply tel the person whats not okay and then the issue will be addressed.

I think the reason why we talk behind other people’s backs is because we are insecure. And another reason could be that we strive to derive pleasure from other people’s bad circumstances hence we endeavor to publicize them. More-so,  It could also be that we are afraid of being honest. We don’t want to confront the truth most of the times because its scary and painful. We are therefore afraid that other people will think we are bad people. And another thing is that feeling of superiority you feel when another person has a problem that you don’t have. So gossiping about it makes you yourself feel special and the other person trash.

But we are fools when we think it only happens to others. It happens to everybody. And everything has happened before like Marcus Aurelius has said. So it can happen to you or to your kids as well.  The same circumstance that the other person is with currently dealing with, might be the same circumstance you will be dealing with two years from now.

So instead of being afraid to tell the person, you need to know that talking behind their back is ten times more harmful than telling them directly. If someone has a problem , the first person you should tell is that person with the problem, not somebody else. So lets stop being cowards and stop gossiping behind other people’s backs. Tell the person, they wont hate you bro, as long as you are polite and you are willing to help them then it wont be a big deal. Stop it please and promise yourself not to talk behind other people’s backs anymore. 

The five societies of life

 There are five societies of life. These are basically five groups into which every person can be classified into according to their character and habitual actions. These societies are, the insecure society, the remorseless society, the wandering society, the meaningful society and the correctional society.

The insecure society, these people have no confidence in themselves and they spend most of their time looking for validation and approval from other people. They often doubt themselves as a result, they become anxious in their reckonings. They often think other people don’t understand them hence they are always afraid to say or do what they want to do. They are really insecure about everything going on in their lives. These folks often compare themselves to other people and sometimes they compete in silence.

The remorseless society, is a society that does not care at all. They have no pity or mercy for other human beings. They do whatever they want without considering other people’s feelings. They spend most of their time fighting, stealing and engaging in dishonest activities. These people have no remorse at all. They insult, kill and injure other people. All in all, they intentionally cause other people to suffer.

The wandering society is composed of people who spend time seeking for pleasure or fun. They feel bored most of the time unless given something to do by another person. These people indulge in activities like moving from one drinking pub to the next each and every day, surfing online social platforms almost each and every hour and engaging in endless gossip chats. They lack purpose and are haunted by their inner emptiness. All they do is wander around, going wherever other people are going. They do things simply because others are doing them. This society lacks intentionality.

The meaningful society is the purposeful society. These people are aware of the meaning of life. They spend time doing things that benefit everyone. They solve problems. These people only care about what is important to mankind. They don’t mind about what other people think of them. They have daily routines and their actions are always intentional. They are confident. They have values and do things the way they fancy.

Lastly, the correctional society is made up of people with chronic problems and as a result most of the time, are separated from the rest of the world. These include people with long term prison sentences and patients with chronic conditions. These people spend most of their time alone, contemplating about their problems or being cared for so that they can live a normal life again. This society is composed of people who spend most of their lifetime at correctional institutions like prisons, hospitals and rehabilitation centers.

These societies of life teach us that, it is us, ourselves that sometimes make life complicated. Our character will determine our destiny and the meaningful society is best among all these societies. So in short lets gravitate towards meaningful actions, beliefs and plans that benefit everyone and we will have better problems. In this classification of people into different societies we also learn that if we live life with a purpose and focus on the present we will find life worth living.